A hopefully entertaining supplementary source for learners of English and for those who haven't made up their minds yet - Remélhetőleg szórakoztató kiegészítő forrás angolul tanulóknak, és azoknak, akik még nem szánták rá magukat.
Savage Sentimental & The Cool Breeze Foundation:
@blerocs: Thank you for sharing this amusing piece of news, it made me smile on a gloomy evening :-) (2009.11.24. 01:54)Memorable Movies - A Bronx Tale
An amateur assassin slits a throat from ear to nose. It's the OnionRadioNews, this is Doyle Redland reporting. Noted assassin mentor, Ivan Gregovich felthumiliated today as he watched his protégéeslit his first solo victim's throat from ear to nose. Though Gregovich had trained his apprentice for years, the novice killer was overcome at the last minute by what the pros call a case of jellyknife. Said Gregovich: 'I mean the least he could have done is to cut the nose clean off. At least that sends a message.' Gregovich plans to train the young man further with the use of practice victims whose ears have been painted bright orange. Doyle Redland for the Onion Radio News.
Az érdeklődőnek:
Az orgyilkosnövendék ügyetlen torokmetszése. Önök az Onion rádió híreit hallják, Doyle Redland vagyok. Ivan Gregovich, a neves orgyilkosmentor szégyenkezve nézte végig, hogy védence első önálló áldozatának torkát a fülétől az orráig metszette el. Noha Gregovich évekig képezte gyakornokát, a kezdő gyilkost az utolsó pillanatban hatalmába kerítette az, amit a profik "zselékés-effektusnak" neveznek. Gregovich elmondta: "Szerintem a legkevesebb, amit megtehetett volna, hogy teljesen levágja az orrát. Annak legalább üzenetértéke van." Gregovich a fiatal férfi továbbképzését olyan gyakorlóáldozatok használatával tervezi, akiknek füleit rikító narancssárgára festették. Az Onion rádió híreit Doyle Redland tudósította.
In case you don't know, Guano Apes is a German alternative rock band, formed in Göttingen in 1994. With the combination of hearty and unusual rhythms, they stormed through Germany’s music scene with their debut album, Proud Like A God in 1997 and took off for full-scale tours through most of Europe and even North America. It alsoended up being the most sold debut album of an English-speaking German band. After a four-year pause, the group reunited in 2009 and they are reported to be working on their fourth studio album. One of the reasons why I am partial to their music is the quartet's lead singer of Croatian descent, Sandra Nasic whose voice is sometimes aggressive, sometimes silky-soft, and always loaded with thrilling emotion. I don't think you'll forget about her name after listening to this song.
I'm alone can't wait until I feel your rain so unreal can't find another place of your rain I believe I still believe in your warm rain I'm alone can't sleep until I feel your rain
How can I find Love, Faith and Trust inside of your rain so unreal, can't find another place of your rain I believe I still believe in your warm rain so untrue help me to find through your warm rain
I send out my wishes you gave me promises why don't you feel the same (I'm sad, I feel like a little child, somebody left, there is no rain)
Oh no, I'm waiting how about your rain? I can't believe I still believe in your rain like in heaven I can't wait until I feel your rain so where's your life who's living the rest of your life
I can't, I can't, I can't live this life, I can't live this life I can't see in your eyes can't change it, no more tries leave everyone with a smile and you're sad, you feel like a little child somebody's left there is no rain
God smites an area man for distracting him from tree frogs. It's the OnionRadioNews, this is Doyle Redland reporting. Local worshipper, Dennis Hupner was struck and killed by a lightning bolt thrown from the LordAlmighty today, shortly after interrupting the Lord with a long, rambling football-related prayer. According to God's spokesperson, Eric Peterson the Creator was tweaking the evolution of a near-extinct South American amphibian when Hupner's prayer tookhim 'completelyout of the zone' 'If you send prayer after prayer over a... a college ball game, I mean even the good LordAlmighty'sinfinite patience can be worn thin'. Peterson warned believers around the world to take note that Saturday afternoons are to be respected forever as God's tree frog time. Doyle Redland for the Onion Radio News.
Az érdeklődőnek:
Isten lesújtott egy helyi férfira, mert elvonta a figyelmét a levelibékáktól.Önök az Onion rádió híreit hallják, Doyle Redland vagyok. Egy helyi hívőt, Dennis Hupnert ma villámcsapással sújtott és ölt meg a Mindenható nem sokkal azután, hogy az illető egy focival kapcsolatos hosszú, és fülsértő imával zavarta meg Őt. Az Úr szóvivője, Eric Peterson szerint a Teremtő éppen egy kihalás szélén álló dél-amerikai kétéltű evolúciójával bíbelődött, amikor Hupner fohászkodása "teljesen kihozta a sodrából." "Ha egyfolytában egy főiskolai focimeccs miatt imádkozol, akkor még a magasságos Mindenható végtelen türelme is elfogyhat". Peterson arra figyelmeztette a hívőket világszerte: alaposan jegyezzék meg és mindörökké tartsák tiszteletben, hogy az Úr szombat délutánonként a levelibékáknak szenteli az idejét. Az Onion rádió híreit hallották Doyle Redlanddel.
From now on, thanks to McDonald's new Village Franchise Initiative, you don't need to miss the familiar flavours of your favourite fast food restaurant chain when you go on a trip to the countryside or get stuck in the middle of nowhere. The proud franchisees of the place shown below announced that they had been given the permission to use solely home-grown and organic ingredients for the usual recipes. They also expressed their strong hope that with the introduction of some new menus such as Big N Nasty, Chicken McThrill and Crispy McManure, they would succeed in alluring more locals to eat there and turn them into regular customers. Well, it's still up to you to decide how hungry you have to be to get the taste of their, um, plain cooking. (Your suspicion is right, I'm afraid: that half-naked bloke standing in the background really seems to start throwing up the rural BigMac he finished off half an hour ago. It must be his unique way to guard against the harmful effects of high chalorie intake, I suppose.)
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If you're not satisfied with the current state of affairs in your country, you've got plenty of choices to express your discontent. There's a wide range from grumbling alone in front of your TV set to marching along with thousands of angry fellow protesters. Once out on the street, you can easily get mixed up in a ferocious riot. If you're not an expert in the art of rebellion, you may find it useful to read this makeshift guideline written on the pavement. Needless to say, the order of instructions is very important here: don't you ever try to throw the piece of stone unless removing cement first, otherwise it won't operate properly. Um, speaking of stones, I think fate is not as fair as it is supposed to be: in some Islamic countries you can be stoned to death, in some liberal countries you can be dead stoned. It's quite weird, isn't it?
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Are you uncertain about establishing a family? Feeling not mature enough to have your own baby? Then lean a bit closer and take a good look at this picture below. It may teach you something about the very essence of parenthood. Yes, that's right. Care and attention. Always and everywhere. The message is clear: if you don't want your children to end up making cheap shoes in a sweatshop for 14 hours a day or being sexually harrassed by some cradle snatcher with pedofiliac perversion, always hold their hands tight when you visit an exotic place you've never been to before.
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Would you like to know what happens when Mr. John Average decides to step on the warpath in the scary and hostile jungle of a metropolis? Are you curious to see how easy it is to lose directions in a time of profound changes? Then Falling Down is the movie you should watch sometime.
William Foster, the main character of the movie, is a divorced defence-industry worker who has been made redundant recently. His only aim is to get home in time for his daughter's birthday party in spite of the restraining order against him. After getting stuck in a hellish traffic jam, he leaves his car, pops his cork and engages in a violent rampage across the city. It seems that everyone stands in his way: a Korean convenience-store owner, who feels Foster's wrath because he doesn't want to give him change for a phone call and he doesn't speak English well enough; or the two Hispanic thugs who make the mistake of pulling a knife on him. In the end he teaches them a lesson with a baseball bat taken from the convenience-store.
As he makes his way across the streets and parks of Los Angeles, he becomes a walking time bomb by beginning to pick up more and more weapons, as if he took it to the next level in some first-person shooter video game - ranging from a baseball bat to a bazooka. In the scene you're about to watch, Foster encounters a road repair crew, whose members are not doing much actual work as traffic backs up around them. He wants to make his way through on foot but he is stopped by one of the repairmen. Angered by the repairman's rude and negligent manner, he accuses the crew of doing superfluous repairs in order to justify their budget. When the repairman finally admits that there is nothing wrong with the street, he blows it up with the bazooka so that they will have some real work to do.
On the surface of it, this movie seems to be a sardonic portrayal of all the social ills and discomforts people have to endure living in a big city: population diversity, high prices, traffic congestion and flaring tempers. (Sad but true: the Los Angeles riots of 1992 broke out as the movie was being shot.) But if I dig a bit deeper, it's not only a film about violence in society but it also shows the stages of a mental collapse that cannot stay invisible behind the facade of normalcy. Foster is not a psycho on the loose, he's just a frustrated man who fails to adjust to the changing world around him. It's hard to tell whether he is a victim or a criminal but I felt a hard stab of compassion for him at the end of the movie when - realizing he can't see his daughter again - he murmured, 'I'm the bad guy? How did that happen?'
Hey, hey, where do you think you're going? You can't come this way.
Foster:
What are you doing to the street?
Repairman:
We are fixing it. What the hell does it look like?
Foster:
Two days ago it was fine. You' re telling the street fell apart in two days?
Repairman:
Well, I guess so.
Foster:
Pardon me, but that's bullshit! I want to know what's wrong with the street. See, I don't think anything's wrong with the street. I think you're just trying to justify your inflated budgets.
In case you don't know, INXS is an Australian rock band, originally formed as The Farriss Brothers in Sydney in 1977. Their music, which was initially influenced by New Wave, ska and pop elements, reached international popularity with a series of hit recordings in the late 1980s. Tragically, in 1997 lead vocalist Michael Hutchence was found dead in his hotel room when the band was on a world tour. According to the official version, he committed suicide but others suggested that his death may have been accidental, resulting from autoerotic asphyxiation. Anyway, the song you're about to listen to is the fifth single from the band's best-selling album Kick, released back in 1987. I don't know how many times I listened to it as a teenager but I remember hearing it on the radio on the very day when I fell in love for the first time in my life.
All veils and misty Streets of blue Almond looks That chill devine Some silken moment Goes on forever And we're leaving Broken hearts behind
Mystify, mystify me Mystify, mystify me
I need perfection Some twisted selection That tangles me To keep me alive In all that exists Well, none has your beauty I see your face and I will survive
Mystify, mystify me Mystify, mystify me
Eternally wild with the power To make every moment come alive All those stars that shine upon you Will kiss you every night
All veils and misty Streets of blue Almond looks That chill devine Some silken moment Goes on forever And we're leaving Yeah we're leaving broken hearts behind
Mystify, mystify me Mystify, mystify me
You're eternally wild with the power To make every moment come alive All those stars that shine upon you And they'll kiss you every night
Would you like to be a cool nerd but you don't have enough pocket money? Are you eager to have the latest good-for-nothing gadgets but your daddy's attitude to your request is unreasonably dismissive? Do you want to put the strongest graphics card available into your PC but you didn't get a part-time job at the nearest McDonald's franchise? Yes, there can be times in our life when fulfilling our dreams is challenged by the state of our bank account. But there's no need to worry, if there's a will, there's a way. If you can't afford to buy a MacBook, you can still make your own. See? It has literally been turned into an Apple computer.
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A new heart-shaped sniper scope makes it impossible for Marines to shoot enemies. It's the OnionRadioNews, this is Doyle Redland reporting. US Marine marksmen have come forward with charges that a new heart-shaped rifle scope designed for standard-issue M40 sniperrifles causes feelings of love toward their targets. Sharpshooter Corporal Douglas Foreman called the design flaw 'a third-rate idea from a first-rate shitbird.' 'Even though it's been two months since I saw him in my scope, I can't get that terrorist leader out of my head, maybe I should give him a call just, you know, just to see how he's doing.' Army officials hope to correct the problem by issuing new scopes that make the targets appear like all the hookers that ever rejected them. Doyle Redland for the Onion Radio News.
Az érdeklődőnek:
Új, szív alakú célzótávcsövek akadályozzák meg a tengerészgyalogosokat az ellenség lelövésében. Önök az Onion rádió híreit hallják, Doyle Redland vagyok. Az amerikai tengerészgyalogság mesterlövészei azzal a váddal álltak elő, hogy a rendszeresített M40 mesterlövészpuskára tervezett új, szív alakú célzótávcső a célpontjaikkal szembeni szeretet érzését váltja ki bennük. Douglas Foreman tizedes a tervezési hibát "egy elsőosztályú seggfej harmadosztályú ötletének" nevezte. "Ugyan már két hónapja, hogy megláttam a távcsőben, de még mindig nem tudom kiverni a fejemből azt a terroristavezért, talán fel kéne hívnom, érti, csak hogy megtudjam, hogy van." A hadsereg tisztviselőinek reményei szerint a problémát olyan új célzótávcsövek fogják orvosolni, amelyekben a célpontok úgy néznek majd ki, mint azok a prostituáltak, akik azelőtt visszautasították őket. Az Onion rádió híreit Doyle Redland tudósította.
Do you remember the searchlight shaping the silhouette of a bat on the night sky over Gotham City? I'd like to believe it's not only me who always wanted to know how on earth they did it. Now the mystery is uncovered, the secret is revealed. Before you start feeling sorry for that bat, think about it again: it's quite an easy job to act as a bat if you're actually a bat.And it must have been equally paid, anyway.
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